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fishcustardandthecumberbeast:

spockhetti:

HAHAHAHAHAH SO MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT SHE AND A FRIEND OF HERS ARE FAKING A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO TAKE HIM TO THIS HOUSE IN THE MOUNTAINS WHERE THEY HAVE YEARLY FAMILY REUNIONS BUT ONLY RELATIVES AND PARTNERS ARE ALLOWED

AND SHE’S LIKE YEAH SO WE ONLY HAVE TO ACT LIKE WE ARE A COUPLE BUT WE’RE NOT OF COURSE IT WILL BE FUN

HAHAHAHAHA M8 I HAVE READ ENOUGH FANFICTION TO KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

That last sentence.

fuckinq:

I went jogging this morning and i noticed a guy was following me and i was so scared lmfao my heart was pounding and then he finally caught up to me and said “hey you dropped 50 bucks” and i took it and started running and while i’m running i’m laughing because the 50 dollars didn’t belong to me

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